


Truffles is Going to Hell

by Latter_Rose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Misha Collins, But basically just Misha, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Cute puppies, Fluff, Implied Smut, Maybe idk I'll let you judge, Meet-Cute, Misha from the French Mistake, Nonbinary Abaddon, Nonbinary Character, Other, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, meta!misha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29461602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latter_Rose/pseuds/Latter_Rose
Summary: "Excuse me, that is my h- puppy. Hand him over." The redheaded woman did not try to make a grab for the puppy, but instead stood a few feet away, imperiously, like she was used to people coming to her when she commanded, obeying her every word."What? Your puppy? I'm sorry but finders keepers." Misha said, finally taking notice of the woman with her eyes fixed on the puppy in his arms.Abaddon/Misha Collins
Relationships: Abaddon/Misha Collins - Relationship
Kudos: 1





	Truffles is Going to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this when it was still Valentine's Day. Who needs sleep amiright? It is unbetaed and lightly edited. My apologies for any errors I did not catch in my read through. 
> 
> Yesterday there were no fics for Abaddon/Misha in the Supernatural fandom (shocking, I know), but today that gaping chasm (to hell) has been filled. So please, enjoy my madness!
> 
> EDIT: I've now heavily edited this since first posting it. <3

The Rescue Center for Dogs and Cats saw all manners of rogue puppies and stubborn foster owners. Or stubborn puppies and rouge owners. It was quite common to have children running all over the place, begging their parents to adopt every animal in the place, or to see a pair of college students debating over which cat would be easiest to sneek into their dorm. But the Rescue Center was seldom the scene of foster _wars_ like the one that played out in front of the assistance desk one february evening, after all the other prospective owners had gone for the day, leaving only one bored employee to man the desk until they closed up. And certainly not on the evening of Valentine's Day.

The troublesome pair had come in separately, the man first. He met with each of the animals without foster homes yet individually, petting and cuddling them all at least two times before he found a little ebony mutt chewing on a horde of pens under the counter that divided the customer area at the front from the rest of the building. It was love at first sight and the puppy hadn't complained even once when the man picked him up and hugged him way tighter than could be comfortable (even though all the volunteers were sporting nips from just trying to pet the little fellow).

"What's his name, er Kelsey?" He asked the employee at the desk, reading the name badge pinned to her bright green Rescue Center T-shirt, ignoring how the puppy was nibbling on a piece of his hair. Although to be fair his dark, cropped hair didn't look like it had been combed in the last week, so the puppy would have to put in a bit more effort to make his damage noticeable.

"Truffles." She answered, looking the man's fur-covered pink heart sweater up and down, and pulled out a clipboard and very chewed-upon pen to mark down his fostering information, "Yours?"

"Do they all have Valentine's themed names?" The man asked, sounding genuinely curious. "And er-- Misha. Misha Collins. The names must encourage people to take the dogs and cats home for the holiday, right?" This puppy looked like he particularly needed the extra encouragement. He was all black fur except for two bright red eyes, which most of the potential foster owners must have found creepy, but Misha just found it cute. He always gravitated toward the weird, probably because he felt so out of place most of the time, so when he say the little devil-dog that had managed to make his own little lair outside of the kennel room were all the other animals were content to stay, he felt a connection.

"Yes," Kelsey agreed in a bored voice, "Number?"

Misha was momentarily distracted by the puppy moving on from his hair to slobber directly into his ear, and Kelsey tapped her pen on her clipboard impatiently.

A _bang_ suddenly shattered the peace and quiet that had hung around the shelter. The door to the Rescue Center flew open, slammed against the wall and sent the bell above the door tinkling frantically.

A woman stepped inside the Rescue Center in a cloud of black leather, fiery hair and combat boots.

Even the puppies that had been fighting between the bars of their crates in the back room since before Misha first walked in went quiet at the ominous clicking of her boots crossing the marble threshold confidently like their wearer owned the place. Misha was still rocking Truffles gently and seemed to be the only person or animal who hadn't noticed her entrance and taken cover in the blankets of their kennels or, in Kelsey's case, cowering behind the assistance desk. 

"Aren't you a good boy, Truffles," Misha cooed to the puppy, who wriggled under his sweater at the approaching footsteps and clawed into his shirt when Misha tried to drag him out again. Oh well, no harm in the little guy snuggling there while he filled out the paperwork. Misha looked up to ask Kelsey what was the information she asked him about a minute ago and was confronted, not by the employee's tired eyes and polite smile, but by an unfamiliar face framed in red curls that looked very angry indeed.

His first thought was that she looked like some kind of law authority. Her glare would certainly make any 'bad cop' on Law and Order look like a pre-school teacher. In a mental scramble, he went back through everything he'd done in the last few weeks. Maybe he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and accidentally got caught up in a bank heist again. He was a few minutes late to his parking meter the other day...

"Excuse me," She snidely interrupted his internal panic,"I'm here to collect my h- my puppy."

Misha hugged Truffles closer to his chest under his sweater, but the redheaded woman did not try to make a grab for the puppy in his arms. She instead stood a few feet away, imperious, like she was used to people coming to her. For some reason it didn't come off as much as gross privilege as much as her being prepared to knock anyone who disobeyed into the fifth dimension. It must be the leather jacket. So hot, yet so intimidating. Misha felt a shiver go down his spine that didn't feel entirely connected to the woman's outward appearance and he suddenly wanted to follow the dogs and cats' example and hide under a blanket.

"What? Your puppy? I'm sorry but finders keepers." Misha finally managed to squeak and tried to make up for the delay by starring back at Abaddon as defiantly as possible.

She looked him over with one delicate eyebrow raised, not even deigning him a reply. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know what relation you have to this dog," Kelsey piped up from behind the desk.

"I'm its real owner," She sniffed as if she found that fact distasteful. "Now, tell him to give me my puppy back, he has no idea what the nasty little thing is capable of."

Misha didn't know who this woman was, but now that his initial fight or flight reaction had passed, he wasn't sure he liked her very much. She sounded just like the kind of person who would take a young puppy lightly nipping them for too rough petting as a danger to society or want the puppy put down just for trying to do some healthy teething. In fact, he became more and more certain that was exactly who she was, and he sure as hell was not going to entrust her with any pet, let alone Truffles who was clearly downright terrified of the lady. That was probably why he hid under his sweater when she came in.

"Truffles is a sweet puppy. I'm not going to let you take away his chance at happiness just 'cause you don't understand anything about dogs." Okay maybe he was being a bit dramatic, but Truffles deserved a proper home dammit. "You do, don't you, Truffs." He murmured and scratched the puppy behind his velvety ear. Not that he had much area to choose from since the puppy's head was the only part poking out from the neck of Misha's knit sweater.

The woman sighed in exasperation and turned away from him to look pointedly at Kelsey. "Surely you have to give an animal back to their original owner should they find them." Okay, this was a cat and dog foster service, not the pound. Misha didn't bother to try and hide his eye-roll.

"What?" She rounded on him, her voice sickly sweet, and oh God didn't that just feel like the calm before the storm.

"Nothing, nothing." Misha widened his eyes innocently.

"Hmm," Was her only response and she turned back to Kelsey and took a deep breath to say Misha didn't know what but he wasn't going to give her a chance to convince KElsey to give her the puppy. He was not letting her get away with puppy murder!

"This may be your puppy. But he's your puppy who you _abandoned_. You don't get to march in here and steel him away. You don't deserve him back, or any puppy ever for that matter." Misha's voice rose in pitch toward the end of the sentence and he covered Truffles' ears with his hand to shield them from the raising voices (never mind that he was the one doing all the raising). 

Her jaw twitched. She was obviously annoyed, but also looked just the tiniest bit impressed by his audacity. Misha's brain told him to shut up before annoyed turned into truly pissed, but his mouth as usual completely ignored him.

"And another thing." He jabbed a finger into her chest. "You may walk in here like you're hot shit royalty, 'cause I'm sure that's what you'd like to think you are, but you're not. You're just a-" Misha trailed off as she advanced on him until they were nose to nose.

"A-a bully?" His voice shot up into a squeak that made the statement sound like a question. They were so close he could see the tiny clumps in her mascara on her lashes and flecks of brown in her steel grey eyes. A perfect red ringlet brushed his sweater as she leaned in to whisper softly in his ear.

"You should show me some respect. I can be very creative when it comes to punishment and you give a girl all sorts of nasty ideas."

Punishment? Misha's throat felt dry all of a sudden. He wet his lips. She was still leaning over his shoulder, her breath hot against his ear. "Punishment?" He whimpered. Way too many questions were flooding his mind. Punish him in the middle of a rescue shelter? How? Why over a foster puppy she obviously didn't like very much? And was it just him or was the temperature in the room definitely rising? Misha felt cornered and more than a little flustered, so he said the first thing that came into his head.

"Oh yeah, talk dirty to me, Baby." 

Misha immediately mentally slapped himself for ruining any chance he had with her, but he was also the tiniest bit proud of how steady his voice came out when he really just wanted to sink into the floor and die. Of course the lady didn't give him the dignity of dissapearing.

She drew back from him and grabbed the hair at the back of his head and jerked his head down sharply so that he had to look up at her. He yelped and squirmed but something kept him from taking control and pushing her off even though she was smaller than he was and he would be able to do so easily. She smiled down at him, and, even in his uncomfortable position looking at her sideways with his knees bent slightly so as not to fall, her smile sent a warm, fuzzy feeling through him. It felt safe. Which was ridiculous since he was practically being assaulted in a pet foster center. He was only too aware of Kelsey watching them open mouthed only a few yards away. He didn't even know the woman's name and yet here he was, leaving himself completely at her mercy. And you know what. He kinda liked it.

Truffles did not seem to share the sentiment though, as he was pretty sure he could feel the dog now trying to burrow under Misha's T-shirt as well. The lady might not be good with animals, but Misha could safely say he was interested in her anyways. He could take care of Truffles when they moved into an apartment together and- woah there, let's not get too far ahead of ourself.

As if she had been listening to his thoughts, she released her grip on his hair and he crumpled to the floor, looking up at her dazedly. Oh yeah, she totally liked him.

 _-:One fresh, crispy milk bone says I can make her real-laugh by the time we walk out of this shop:-_ Misha mental telepathied to Truffles. A muffled protesting yip came from his sweater. It was dum, but Misha felt like Truffles could actually hear him. -:She seems nice.:- Truffles gave a short bark, and he remembered reading somewhere that dog laughs sound like barking. -:Hey:- And yeah he was definitely going insane. He had already known that, but it was always nice to have proof.

The woman squinted down at the lump in his sweater. "What are you plotting?" A small whimper came through the fabric. She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue, "Language."

"Um, who am I making these foster papers out to?" Kelsey finally interrupted, glancing quickly between Misha on the floor and the redhead standing over him like they were raving lunatics.

"Misha."

"Abaddon."

They said at the same time and then glared at each other. Although Misha's was more playful now than challenging, and now he had a name to that lovely face. He got to his feet and dusted off his jeans. She was turning out to be just his brand of weird, and hey, it was Valentine's Day after all.

"Abaddon, huh. Nice name. You wouldn't happen to have red horns to match the hair?" 

Abaddon's mouth twitched and he noted how her posture relaxed ever so slightly. So demon jokes were a go then. He was suddenly super thankful for his teenage satanic phase that was finally coming back to bless him after years of blank and vaguely concerned looks at work when he corrected people on Lucifer's motives for the apocalypse.

"I already know you have a nice tail," He added, and leaned back to ~~pretend to~~ check out her ass.

Abaddon's slight upturn of a smile widened into a full-on smirk and she turned to face the desk, giving him a much better view of said ass, and addressed Kelsey, "You will make the foster papers out to 'Abaddon', Phone number irrelevant, last name nonexistent."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, we really need to have your information for you to foster from the Rescue Center for Dogs an-" Abaddon silenced her with an elegant flick of her hand, and reached across the desk and plucked the clipboard out of her hand. 

"It's Mx, actually. And I'm getting tired of this." she ran one finger down the page. As she did, Kelsey winced and touched the side of her neck like she'd been bitten by a mosquito. Abaddon handed the clipboard back to Kelsey. "You really ought to think about making your foster process more accessible, so much paperwork." 

Kelsey's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head when she looked down at the clipboard. She flipped through the papers and Misha could see every page was filled with spindly red handwriting. 

"A mix?" Kelsey asked absentmindedly, still staring at the clipboard, "Yeah the dog's a mutt, what'd ya expect? I thought you owned him before."

"No, I mean I'm an _em-ex._ Not a ma'am." Abaddon flared up, suddenly defensive. Oh. Ohhh. Well that changed... actually that didn't really change anything. He still wanted in their pants like yesterday, but he felt guilty for assuming her- their gender.

"Mx. I've heard of that. It's the gender neutral prefix, right? Like not Ms or Mr," Misha ventured. Abaddon's chin jerked in assent. "Would you prefer people using 'they'?" They nodded again, looking like a weight had been taken off their shoulders, and Misha swooped in for the kill.

"I believe what _they_ were really trying to say was you should scrap those papers, _so_ inefficient I agree, and just ya know let me take this little puppy home, since he obviously likes me best." With perfect timing, Truffles popped his head out of Misha's collar and licked a long stripe down his neck. Misha siddled toward the door. "So I'll just be goi-"

" _Not so fast,_ " Abaddon moved to stand between him and the door. "You don't get to take that hel- dog home with you just because you swept in and 'saved the day' with some gender neutral pronouns."

"Then how about we go get a drink," Misha said quickly and spread his arms disarmingly (he quickly brought one back to the side to stop Truffles from sliding right out the bottom of the sweater. "There's a bar down the street, I'll pay and we can settle who Truffles goes home with there, hmm?" 

He could see them hesitating, considering it and then. A nod. Misha barely kept from punching the air. 

"Fine."

"Perfect."

Misha turned around and walked back to the desk and pulled him gently out of the neck of his sweater and set him down on the counter. He tapped the puppy's wet nose, "I'll be back for you," Truffles sneezed.

He patted Truffles on the head one last time and leaned with both hands on the assistance desk. He caught sight of a clock on the wall. Twenty minutes past closing time. _Oops._

"I'll be back to sign the foster papers tomorrow morning, not too early," He told Kelsey with a suggestive wink. She just pursed her lips, clearly annoyed they made her stay overtime and put her clipboard away and picked up Truffles to carry him back to his crate with an apologetic smile at Abaddon and one last stink-eye at Misha. He just grinned back. He had a date for Valentine's day with the cutest person he'd ever seen and nothing could bring him down from that high. 

Abaddon cleared their throat and he pushed off the counter and turned to see her standing with both hands on their hips, "You coming, Sweater boy?"

"Yeah, yeah." He blushed, and walked over to them.

Truffles was peeking over Kelsey's shoulder as she opened the door to the kennel room, a little smudge of black fur on her shoulder.

 _"Be good, Keres."_ Abaddon muttered, almost too low for Misha to hear, but Truffles got the message loud and clear because the puppy's red eyes went all big and mournful and he blinked at them so innocently Misha could practically see a halo shining above him. Truffles whined one last time before he disappeared through the doorway.

"That dog's an angel," Misha said fondly.

A snort came from beside him and Misha looked in amazement at Abaddon, who was doubled over in an almost silent fit of laughter. It was so strange to see them lose their composure, that Misha couldn't help but join in, even though he didn't know what the joke was. Their laughter was infectuous and from the slightly surprised look on their face, they probably didn't laugh like this very often. 

After a few minutes, they both struggled to compose themselves again, leaning heavily against each other, and Abaddon actually wiped a tear from one eye. Looked like Truffles was going to get that milk bone after all.

Abaddon slung an arm around Misha's shoulder (quite easily as he only had a few inches on them), squeezing him possesively to their side and Misha found he did not mind that one bit. "You're funny, I think I'll keep you."

"Keep me where? In your dungeon?" Misha deadpanned. 

Abddon's smile just widened and they stroked his sweater sleeve. "Maybe later, I'm a bondage on the third date kinda pal. Drinks first."

Oh God, what did he do to deserve this wonderful person? His heart jumped at the implication of another date, and he tried not to get ahead of himself. Not being alone on Valentine's for the first time in years was a miracle in itself. "I hope your handcuffs are well oiled." He teased.

"Don't worry, the wall manacles are never left empty long enough to need it." Abaddon replied way too quickly and confidently. Huh he should probably be more concerned but he couldn't find it in himself to be in the cool evening breeze as they walked along the sidewalk together, the sun setting behind the tall city buildings. He nestled his head into the warm collar of their leather jacket. It wasn't like there was any chance Abaddon had an actual _dungeon_ wherever they lived.

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comment to get Lady Gaga's _Applause_ stuck in my head! 'Cause seriously, I swear I can hear it when I get the notification.
> 
> I would love to know what you think. Let me know if you ship this pairing too!


End file.
